Tag: family

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Lessons from an Adopted Grandmother

L.M. Hosler

I never knew my actual grandparents. I saw my grandmother on my mother’s side a few times but never really knew her. It’s sad that I never really had grandparents in my life.

I made Madeline my adopted grandmother when I went to work for her as her caregiver. We sat and talked for hours when I had everything that was needed done. She told me some wonderful stories of her life. Madeline had grown up during the depression era and World War II. She had been a teacher and she told me about her college adventures and romances. She shared with me stories of the other man she almost married. Madeline lived away at college and came home on weekends by train. Madeline had a talent for music and she became a music teacher. Although her family couldn’t afford for her to go to college her church stepped in with a scholarship.

When Madeline came home as a teacher, one of the first things she did was form a school band. I remember her story of how she had friends, neighbors and other community members searching through attics for instruments for her students. And she managed to construct the first band for that high school.

Madeline married and had two children but continued teaching. But her family always came first and she raised two great children. She was loved by her students who still dropped in to visit with her when her health declined. Madeline was very active in church and community activities. At one of the town’s parades, Madeline was the Grand Marshall of the parade.

Madeline also did a lot of traveling after her retirement. When her sight failed, I would sit and read her the notes she had written about her travels. One evening we got out boxes of valentines from her grade school days. It was amazing to see old valentines with movable arms and legs. They don’t make valentines like that anymore.

I spent many hours with Madeline and I enjoyed every minute. She was a beautiful, unique woman who gave her time and love to so many others. I will never forget some of the lessons I learned from her. I always remember her kindness to everyone. I learned to be more tolerant of people. I offer find myself repeating something she would say. When asked if she liked a new food, she would either say she did like it. Or she would say “I wouldn’t walk around the block for it”.

Madeline died when she was 102. Her last unselfish act was to donate her body to science. She hoped that doctors would find cures for some of the problems that she had suffered.

Daily writing prompt
Describe a family member.
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Navigating Social Gatherings with a Hearing Disability

L.M. Hosler

Just about my whole life, I have felt out of place. I have never liked parties or groups of people I don’t know well.

I think over the last twenty years I have been feeling that more. It probably has to do with my hearing disability which has gotten worse over the years. It’s hard to be in a noisy group when you can only hear parts of the conversation. At most gatherings I am the one standing or sitting alone. I don’t care much for idle conversation. Now if there’s card games or board games to entertain me that makes a difference. Otherwise, I am usually the first out the door heading home.

I usually feel out of place in groups of people who are dressed well. I really have no fashion sense. This is everywhere I go with others. Weddings, funerals, dinners, whatever, I always feel like I have the wrong clothes on. I compare myself to how others are dressed and I generally feel inadequate.

I feel that I am getting better at social situations. Or maybe I am just finding more excuses not to be involved in those situations where I feel so out of place.

Daily writing prompt
Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.
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How Independence Shaped My Life After Divorce

L.M. Hosler

Since I turned sixteen and got a drivers license, a car and a job, I have valued my independence. I started working as a waitress when I was sixteen while still in high school. I made a lot of new friends where I was working. We shared a lot of fun, even when we weren’t working. Great times.

A car very similar to my first car 1959 Ford Fairlane

At twenty I got married. Big, big mistake. I thought you got married, stayed at home and raised kids the same way my mother had done. I was so wrong. Times had changed and it took two incomes. So the stay at home mother wasn’t possible. Both my husband and I were miserable. He was a heavy drinker which caused a lot of problems. We both had gotten married for the wrong reasons. Eventually we went our separate ways.

Michael Dolan emilydickinson@gmail. A 1961 chevy Impala Like one I learned to drive

Now I learned what real independence was and how much I valued my independence. I was able to stand on my own two feet. I managed to go to work, find babysitters and rented an apartment on my own. It was tough but I proved to myself I was capable of doing it.

Since I moved on my own, I have raised the three children. Gone back to school and bought a house on my own. I now live almost alone. I try not to depend on other people anymore than I have to. But there’s occasionally times I have to depend on some one else to do repairs, moving or lifting.

Thus I think independence is the trait I value most about myself. I love being independent and worry about losing my independence. I know the time will come when I am older and will have to ask others for help. I am dreading the day when I can’t drive or take care of myself any longer.

Daily writing prompt
What’s the trait you value most about yourself?
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Fostering Change: Impacting Lives Beyond Profit

L.M. Hosler

I would continue doing what I do now even if money wasn’t a concern. I work as a private caregiver for the elderly. I love what I do. Most older people are so very grateful for whatever help they receive. They have some great stories to tell also. Times were different for them. Some of them lived through wars and the depression. One of my ladies would tell me stories about traveling on the railroad to go shopping or the movies. She also had some war time and love stories she shared with me. Care giving is more than a job. It’s a wonderful experience filled with joy and love.

Caregiver assisting the elderly
Hauoratrust

My second choice would be to make a home for foster children. The stories you hear about foster children neglect and abuse are horrifying. We have all heard some of the terrible stories of children who were raised by bad and abusive foster parents. I have a friend and a sister-in-law who were foster children. Actually, both of them were better off in a foster home. A woman I know has been taking in foster children for years now. She has done such a marvelous job and made a difference in a lot of children’s lives. Some of her foster children are now grown up and in college. She and her husband adopted several of the children they took in.

Be a Child’s HERO
https://twitter.com/RepDebHaaland/status/1124410636954427392

My third choice would be to do the other job I am now doing. I would be a fully retired, do nothing but what I want to do. I would spend my days writing. When I wasn’t writing I would be napping, watching movies, cooking good food, reading good books. I would generally do just whatever I wanted. The totally ideal job. I would be the best boss I ever had.

Daily writing prompt
List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.
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Transform Your Mindset: Embrace Positivity

L.M. Hosler
Smilie027
Positive thinking means having a positive approach towards anything and everything.

The best piece of advice I ever received came from my sister. She suggested that maybe I should stop being so negative about everything. And I was seeing the bad in most everything. I don’t really remember why that was. But for some reason, I wasn’t seeing and appreciating the things I did have.

Having a positive attitude is an upbeat way of looking at life in general. It helps you look for solutions and answers to problems. A positive attitude is believing in your own value as a person. If you have a positive attitude, you see failure as lessons for doing better in the future. You become better equipped to adjust to new or difficult situations.

There was a time when I was very good friends with a woman I worked with. We did a lot of things together. But there came a time when we went our separate ways. Later, I started to notice how she had such a negative attitude towards our co-workers. Actually, that’s what caused the problem between the two of us. I hadn’t paid a lot of attention to her attitude when we were friends. But later, I saw how she treated other employees and I realized how her attitude had rubbed off on me. I began to change my own attitude at work and learned that friendships can affect our attitudes and beliefs. It is important who we choose as our closest friends.

After my sister gave me that advice, I did try harder to be less negative. I looked at things a little differently. And eventually, I became more positive about a lot of things. I also started to notice other people who had a negative attitude. People didn’t care much to be around them. I noticed the same attitude in my son recently. I passed on my sister’s advice and other words of great wisdom.

Daily writing prompt
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
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Simple and Meaningful Holiday Celebrations

L.M. Hosler

I’ve never been a person to have wild, noisy holidays.

When the new year begins, I usually am spending that day with family, or at least part of the day. I generally cook the traditional pork and sauerkraut with mashed potatoes for lunch. Pork and sauerkraut is supposed to bring you good luck and good fortune in the new year. Well this year, it certainly has brought me very little good fortune. Hopefully, next year will be better.

Then comes Valentines Day in February. This holiday is usually ignored. Sometimes, I may get together with other seniors at the senior center and have a good meal.

Saint Patrick’s Day comes in March. I get out the crock pot and cook a corned beef brisket. I add chopped potatoes and cabbage to the crock pot. Two of my children show up for that holiday. They like corned beef and cabbage.

Easter can come in either March or April. Then I cook turkey or ham with everything included. The whole works. The aromas of turkey or ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, vegetables, side dishes fill the house. One of my favorite dishes to go with ham is baked pineapple. Depending on their spouses most of the children come for Easter. In the future I plan on going to church for Easter services.

Wood engraving Crucifixion of Jesus 1866 by Gustave Doré.

Memorial Day weekend is at the end of May. We used to always have a big family gathering with everyone bringing food. Always a lot of great food and family. Games are played for the young and the adults. Sometimes it’s volleyball or croquet. Other times it’s corn hole, or wiffle ball. One thing the young ones love to do is play in the creek nearby. And you will hear their parents remembering their younger days when they played in the creek.

July 4th as its name says comes in July. This holiday is spent celebrating in different ways. As a child were always excited for the July 4th parade. Sometimes, we participated in the parade in one way or another. One time my son and his cousin dressed up as Betsy Ross and Uncle Sam. Another time he marched with his cub scout group. Times have changed over the years. The parade is still held on the 4th of July but I rarely get there. Now the small town where I live has yard sales that weekend all over town. So I either have a yard sale or I go browsing other yard sales. Then in the evening there are fire works held at the dirt racing track.

The next few months are quiet summer months with no holidays. Just hot summer months for beach vacations, swimming and trying to stay cool.

Halloween is the end of October when the weather has cooled down. I do almost nothing to celebrate Halloween. I am usually staying with an elderly lady who was a former teacher. She wants to see the dressed up kids. So I am the one who answers the door for her. I bring them inside to visit with her while handing out candy.

Thanksgiving comes in November. This is the day like Easter that I cook the big meal with everything and the kids come home. But it’s usually a nice quiet day.

Christmas as everyone knows comes in December. I used to try to do the whole bit: decorating, making cookies, presents. Now I celebrate in a much quieter manner. I have never been a big decorator. You have to drag everything out and a few weeks later put everything away. I will put up a small tree and that about does it. I came to the conclusion a few years back that Christmas is not about decorating cookies, shopping or even gifts. It’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus.

New Years Eve is also in December. It ends the old year and begins the new year. We always hope that the new year will be a good year. To celebrate, I go to a gathering of friends, old and new friends. We have a good supper with everyone contributing food. Then we play card games or other favorite games.

So, how do I celebrate holidays?? Each holiday is different so they are celebrated differently. But the major way that I celebrate most holidays, is with family, friends, and always, lots of good food and fun.

Daily writing prompt
How do you celebrate holidays?
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Valuable Life Lessons from a Poor Upbringing

L.M. Hosler

I wish I had learned that all people have value. Even those like me who think they don’t have value.

I was raised in a large but poor family. One very important lesson that I have learned in life is that I might have come from a poor family. However, I had a much better life than younger generations who are given everything they want. We had a stay at home mother and a hard working father. They both loved us very much. Today, I still have five living and loving siblings. I have often said that our family very closely resembled the Television show (The Waltons). I loved that show.

There is another story I would like to share. Dolly Parton had a big hit song with her song (Coat Of Many Colors) that her mother made for her. I can also relate to that. My mother was a good seamstress and she made me a coat. Now my coat was nice. My mother got a lot of compliments on that coat. It was all blue denim but she made it with love for me.

Being poor did have bad influences on me. I didn’t even know I was poor until another girl in third grade brought me an Easter egg. She said that my family was poor and I probably didn’t get anything for Easter. She was right. It was then that I started to notice that my clothes weren’t as nice as the other girls. My hair was cut by my mother and wasn’t stylish. I came to think I wasn’t as good as other children.

My self esteem suffered. I started to stay in the background trying not to be noticed. This pattern of behavior followed me throughout my school years. I decided against college because I felt we couldn’t afford the cost. I had started working in my junior year and I enjoyed having money of my own. I enjoyed being capable of affording some new store bought clothing. Years later, I did return to college. I wish I had done that when I was young enough to have enjoyed the experience.

But I didn’t always appreciate my large family. I hated that we were poor. But we survived and made better lives for ourselves and our children. But looking back, the one lesson I wish I had know was how terribly valuable everyone, including myself, is. The second lesson I wish I had know, was how valuable family is.

Daily writing prompt
Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.
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Why I Chose Florida: A Personal Travel Story

L.M. Hosler

In 2004 I had the opportunity to move to Florida. Friends invited me to come stay with them and stay as long as I wanted to. At that time I was in a relationship I no longer wanted to be in. I had a job that I was not happy with. I was working as a waitress in a local restaurant. I realized that working in the public gave the other person many opportunities. He could and did harass and embarrass me every day at my place of employment. I chose not to face that humiliation. I packed a few of my belongings and moved about twelve hundred miles away to Florida. A friend from Florida flew up to meet me and together we drove to Florida.

I loved Florida. I have heard people complain about the humidity in Florida but that was no problem for me. I enjoyed the smell of the Gulf of Mexico, the beautiful white sand and the sea breeze every morning. I was near a beach, so we usually had a, nice breeze in the mornings and evenings. There were a lot of new southern foods to sample and I learned to make Jambalaya. I loved that I was able to go the beach when I wanted to. We also traveled to neighboring states Mississippi and Alabama. It was all new and exciting for me.

Nevertheless, I had trouble finding a job in Florida. I didn’t know very many people so I didn’t have connections. I couldn’t even find work at a Wal-Mart store and there were several in the immediate area. I finally ended up working as a waitress again. Then eventually I found an office type job. But I wasn’t making enough money to support myself. So I lived with a roommate. I just happened to get into a relationship with him.

My family was twelve hundred miles away so after six years I returned home to be with them. The person I was living with had a very dysfunctional family. I decided I didn’t want to be part of the craziness I was witnessing. That family would make a good book which I may write someday. I do stay friends with all of them but at a distance for my own sanity.

So Florida is as far as I have traveled from my home state of Pennsylvania. I loved Florida and I did go back to visit a few years ago. But I plan on staying near my family in the future other than short trips.

Daily writing prompt
Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.
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The Heart of the Home: Designing a Dream Kitchen

L.M. Hosler

My ideal home would be very much like my home that I presently own. I love my home. It’s a large four bedroom home with a wrap around porch. And I really enjoy that porch. In the mornings, I can spend time reading on the shaded side. In the evenings, I can move to the other side to enjoy the shade. It’s old, over one hundred years old now. I love older homes. They have character that new homes lack. They bring back memories of growing up in a home akin to the one I now live in.

Of course, my home isn’t perfect and being an older home needs some repairs. But it is large and spacious and has everything I need. Still, I would make some changes to make it ideal.

Changes I would make

I would like to have a bathroom downstairs and move my laundry upstairs from the basement. I know there will come a time when stairs become a problem. My upstairs needs painting and some updating, ceiling fans would be nice. I would also add bigger mini splits for air conditioning upstairs. I would like to update the bathroom upstairs. But too many modern changes would lose the old house charm.

The Kitchen

They say the kitchen is the heart of the home and I believe that to be true. The kitchen is large but can use some modifications. A large modern kitchen mixed with an open design into the dining area would be nice. Opening the wall into the dining room, a counter looking into the dining area would work. When I first moved into this home, the kitchen was nothing but a huge room with a single sink. Thanks to my sons, we have modernized the kitchen. I now have two sinks, counter space, and a dishwasher. Opening up that wall into the dining area would be nice addition.

Family in the kitchen praying before eating

Family

An ideal home would include family gatherings like the gatherings which I grew up with. The family would get together regularly to enjoy meals, cookouts and family fun. The children would be out in the evening catching fireflies. The adults would enjoy sitting on the porch with some wine or coffee sharing news and stories of the past. This is what my parents did when I was a child. Someday, hopefully my home will truly be idealistic.

Daily writing prompt
What does your ideal home look like?
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